Know what sucks? Having to tell your family and friends that your melanoma has come back. Those phone calls are impossibly hard to make. The "F" word has been the word of the weekend. Every time I allowed my mind to wander to melanomaland, the "F" word was the only word that seemed appropriate. Must have said it to myself 100 times.
"F!!!" I'm only 6 weeks out from finishing a year of interferon. I was feeling really good. My energy had come back, along with (unfortunately) my appetite, and I was pretty damn comfortable in my Stage 3ness. Now, here I am staring at Stage 4. There is no stage after 4, and I am frankly terrified.
Talking with my oncologist on the phone Friday evening when he relayed the news of this new mass in my gut, I actually felt bad for him. He was kind of stumbling over what to say to me. I imagine it's hard for him to tell his patients bad news just as it's hard for me to relay that same information to the people I love when it pertains to me.
So I will go Tuesday morning and have another PET scan to see if there are any other "new" things to be seen, or if it's just the one spot. Praying SO hard for the latter. Then I'll go from there. Whether it's surgery or other treatments, I WILL fight this bitch with all I have. Know THAT melanoma!